Join Our Pronouns 101 Workshop

Authentic Self Psychotherapy and Consulting is presenting a virtual Pronouns Workshop!

We will be discussing what pronouns have to do with gender, basic etiquette regarding pronouns, what do to if you accidentally misgender someone and more!

The possibility of performative activism

Depending on what corners of the internet you spend time in, chances are you’ve heard at least one person accuse some other person or organization of performative activism.

What does that mean, ‘performative activism’? Generally, it means someone posting or speaking about a social justice issue but in a way that seems non-substantive or not fully genuine. Usually, people alleging performative activism say that the performing party “just wants to look good."

That is where I see opportunity.

International Day Against Homo/Trans/Bi-phobia

Earlier this week, Monday May 17, was the International Day Against Homo/Trans/Bi-phobia.

The heart of what I do is challenging the constructs of our society that perpetuate bigoted mindsets and dismantling them to create a safer, more inclusive space for ALL but especially LGBTQ+ folx.

Here are seven ways we all can work to unlearn these prejudices in our daily lives as we commit to making the world a better place for our gender diverse siblings.

Know your role

I’ve been reflecting on what is necessary to sustain the work of making social justice changes within your organization, school, or business. After this week, I’m pausing this series and shifting gears, so I want to leave you with one more thought on the matter (for now!).

This is critical for preventing burnout: know your role.

Being clear about your role in the process of making changes helps you clarify what you can do and what you can’t do. It also helps you take change from something big, abstract, and maybe overwhelming and turn it into something specific, achievable, and realistic.

Take a break!

The past few weeks I’ve been talking about how you can make change sustainably.

Here’s a tip you might not have been expecting: take a break.

Seriously. Resting is so essential to learning and growing—think about kids. One of the biggest tells a kid is going through a growth spurt is how much more they’re sleeping! Rest gives a chance to deeply process what we’re learning and the ways we’re growing.

What’s your why?

Last week I wrote about ways to get involved in fighting the anti-trans legislation sweeping state legislatures around the country.

As I write today, closing arguments are set to begin in the trial of Derek Chauvin for the murder of George Floyd. The multiple mass shootings that have occurred over the past week, the overwhelming surge of hate crimes targeting AAPI people, and the recent murder of Duarte Wright are all on my mind. There is so much work to do to create a more just and equitable society, it can be tough to figure out where to focus our energy.

An Invitation to Action

I tend to focus on the resilience, joy, and liberation of the trans+ experience. It takes courage and grit to be yourself in a world that doesn’t understand you, validate you, or affirm you. There is incredible joy and freedom in living openly as yourself, when it’s safe to do so.

And yet, I think it’s time to address the elephant in the room: We are currently living in a moment when trans and gender non-conforming people are being legislatively targeted on federal and state levels. These take the form of banning trans athletes from playing in high school sports

On the ropes? Don’t give up—take a step back!

Last week my family and I tried out a local ziplining/ropes course adventure. This was way outside of our comfort zone. None of us really care for heights! We’re not particularly athletic! But we thought it would be fun to have a new experience together. We had a blast, in large part because once one of our group got way too outside of their comfort zone (I'm talking full blown panic attack at 30 feet above the ground)…

Spring, Growth, and Joy

Spring feels somehow so much springier than usual this year. A few of my patients have mentioned this, too. Wondering: why has this winter seemed SO long? Even accounting for lock down, it feels inordinately long.

We didn’t really have the psychic and emotional experience of spring last year. The usual spring experiences of hope, renewal, and the world coming alive again were all so clouded over by fear, uncertainty, and tragedy. What an inordinately long winter it has been, indeed.

What are you doing tomorrow?

This week, I am so excited to partner with my visionary friend and colleague, Ariana Lloyd. Her business, Lloyd Collective, helps liberation-focused therapists build values-driven private practices. I am so excited (did I mention that already?) to be her guest at this month’s Workshop/Fundraiser.

I’ll be talking about 3 Ways Therapists Can Be Gender Inclusive. While this is specifically geared toward psychotherapists, what I’m offering is relevant and usable to any helping professional.

Don’t put your pronouns in your email signature

I’m guessing you’ve seen folks include their pronouns in their email signature, as well as social media bios. If nowhere else, you’ve seen my pronouns in my email signature and social media bio!

I love this practice. It normalizes sharing pronouns explicitly, instead of assuming what someone’s pronouns are based on how you perceive their gender. But it also carries additional meanings for gender diverse people. And while those meanings can and do vary from person to person, one really important meaning is this:

Don’t put your pronouns in your email signature

I’m guessing you’ve seen folks include their pronouns in their email signature, as well as social media bios. If nowhere else, you’ve seen my pronouns in my email signature and social media bio!

I love this practice. It normalizes sharing pronouns explicitly, instead of assuming what someone’s pronouns are based on how you perceive their gender. But it also carries additional meanings for gender diverse people. And while those meanings can and do vary from person to person, one really important meaning is this:

Cha-cha-changes

Have you heard of the Stages of Change Model? It’s a super handy tool that clinicians use to help our clients assess their readiness to make changes.

According to this model, there are five stages a person goes through to change a behavior: Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance. The beauty of this model is that it’s simple, straightforward, and widely applicable. It was designed to be used when helping people make health behavior changes—I got familiar with it when I was working in substance use treatment.